AU 00Q00 – Little known fact about James Bond; it wasn’t a maid he shoved into that cupboard at Eton, but a kitchen boy. He’s been a repressed homosexual all his life. How else could he be so callous with his female conquests?

But the combined force of one Alec Trevelyan and the new Quartermaster were about to change that. You can only run from your true nature for so long.


Bond watched the interaction from the entrance, the new 006, Alec Trevelyan, casually flirting with their young Quartermaster.

It was, in a word, obscene

Because it may be the 21st Century, but that didn’t mean Bond had to like it, or live in it for that matter.

“TREVELYAN!” he boomed. “Are you coming? We haven’t got all day!”

Alec turned with an almost bored – yes bored – expression that made Bond briefly want to punch his face. The agent leaned towards Q though not enough to be accused of invading his space and whispered something with a wink before turning to the exit. Bond watched the brief eye roll from the Quartermaster and just a hint of a blush manifest on his cheekbones.

He frowned at the smug look walking his way. “What did you say to him?”

“Just complimented him on his cardigan,” Trevelyan said casually.

Bond looked incredulous. “That thing is a monstrosity and an offence to the eye.”

Trevelyan paused. “You, Bond, are a heathen. Your wardrobe barely extends beyond the 1980s and Tom Ford is so last decade. THAT,” he said, thumbing over his shoulder at the man now standing with his back to them, “is a Dries van Noten. Lad’s got more taste than his predecessor and a much better arse at that…”

Bond took one last look before heaving a composing breath through his nostrils and turning to follow Trevelyan. He really, REALLY needed to beat the shit out of something.

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